It’s official. It’s May 16th 2012. Christian Jeremiah is TEN YEARS OLD! WHEN? HOW? MY baby? Lord, help me. The tears just will not stop falling. I can’t believe it. People are NOT lying when they say the time just flies. Looking back over these 10 years, I’m so overwhelmed of the joy he has brought me and I am so thankful for the absolute privilege of being his mother. In all honesty, I’m so worried all the time that I am not doing this “mom” thing right and now I only have 8 years left to figure it out. My poor son. Lord, help me. I realize that’s a tad irrational but that’s how I feel today. I feel so inadequate. I guess I’m just aware of my failures as my son has reached this milestone. At any rate, my heart is full and my mind is racing. I realize this post probably only makes sense to me so I’ll stop rambling.
To Christian Jeremiah I will say this: My son. My beautiful treasure. Today is your day my love. On May 16, 2002 after 16 hours of grueling labor, you arrived and the very moment I looked into your little green eyes and held your tiny little hands I vowed to be the best mother I could be. I instantly felt that “mama bear” instinct that gets on your nerves today. Nothing, not one single thing I would allow to come near you to harm you or bring you pain. I especially vowed to do be the mother I always wanted. I would not allow any distraction in my life to pull me away from you or cause me to be anything less than the best for you. I hope in your eyes, I’ve made good on this promise. In this time, I’ve watched you turn from my ADORABLE chubby face”Dooda”, to a tall, handsome, responsible young man who loves Jesus. How did I get so lucky to have you in my life? I love you beyond my own understanding and reason. I’m so proud of you and the person you are. You are caring and kind. You are sweet, funny, and at times wise beyond your youth. You are talented, smart, and your brothers think YOU are the coolest person in the world. You are enough. I’m tough on you at times because I know you can do it! You know just what to say to make me laugh and I love the way you touch my chin when you talk to me. Honestly mommy is sad today, so don’t make fun of me when I look at you and just cry. It’s because I can’t believe how close you are to becoming a teen and eventually becoming a man. NO MATTER WHAT, my love for you will never diminish. Your mama LOVES. YOU. I pray if I have taught you anything, or showed you anything this far in life remember always that Jesus is worthy of your life. Trust Him. Walk with him always. Choose his ways above your own and have a servant’s heart. Know that the greatest joy you can bring me, yourself, and others is your love, faith, and devotion to Christ. Happy Birthday CJ. I pray you enjoy your day. I’m so excited for our trip to the museum tomorrow, I can’t wait to hang out with you Bucket.