Oh my heavens! My baby is TEN! May 16, 2012

It’s official.  It’s May 16th 2012. Christian Jeremiah is TEN YEARS OLD!  WHEN? HOW? MY baby? Lord, help me. The tears just will not stop falling.  I can’t believe it. People are NOT lying when they say the time just flies.  Looking back over these 10 years, I’m so overwhelmed of the joy he has brought me and I am so thankful for the absolute privilege of being his mother. In all honesty,  I’m so worried all the time that I am not doing this “mom” thing right and now I only have 8 years left to figure it out. My poor son.  Lord, help me.  I realize that’s a tad irrational but that’s how I feel today.  I feel so inadequate.  I guess I’m just aware of my failures as my son has reached this milestone.  At any rate, my heart is full and my mind is racing.  I realize this post probably only makes sense to me so I’ll stop rambling.

To Christian Jeremiah I will say this: My son.  My beautiful treasure.  Today is your day my love. On May 16, 2002 after 16 hours of grueling labor, you arrived and the very moment I looked into your little green eyes and held your tiny little hands I vowed to be the best mother I could be. I instantly felt that “mama bear” instinct that gets on your nerves today.  Nothing, not one single thing I would allow to come near you to harm you or bring you pain.   I especially vowed to do be the mother I always wanted. I would not allow any distraction in my life to pull me away from you or cause me to be anything less than the best for you.  I hope in your eyes, I’ve made good on this promise.  In this time, I’ve watched you turn from my ADORABLE chubby face”Dooda”, to a tall, handsome, responsible young man who loves Jesus.  How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?  I love you beyond my own understanding and reason.  I’m so proud of you and the person you are.  You are caring and kind.  You are sweet, funny, and at times wise beyond your youth.  You are talented, smart, and your brothers think YOU are the coolest person in the world. You are enough. I’m tough on you at times because I know you can do it! You know just what to say to make me laugh and I love the way you touch my chin when you talk to me.  Honestly mommy is sad today, so don’t make fun of me when I look at you and just cry. It’s because I can’t believe how close you are to becoming a teen and eventually becoming a man.  NO MATTER WHAT, my love for you will never diminish.  Your mama LOVES. YOU. I pray if I have taught you anything, or showed you anything this far in life remember always that Jesus is worthy of your life.  Trust Him.  Walk with him always.  Choose his ways above your own and have a servant’s heart.  Know that the greatest joy you can bring me, yourself, and others is your love, faith, and devotion to Christ.  Happy Birthday CJ.  I pray you enjoy your day.  I’m so excited for our trip to the museum tomorrow, I can’t wait to hang out with you Bucket.

Happy Birthday baby!

~Your MOMMY

A page in my book of life August 12, 2010

Outside my Window: It is a BEAUTIFUL day!

From the teacher’s desk: We have been brushing up on the basic 3 R’s.  Although I wish I was smart enough to understand why Arithmetic is on the list

What I’m creating: Scarves!   Trying to start earlier than I normally do.  I’ll post a pic of the one I just finished.

Sounds in my ear: Israel and New Breed Alive in South Africa

What’s in my cup:  This fantastic Gevalia Ethiopian coffee. “Harrar”

Brief excerpt of the description:  Harrar is considered a “wild coffee” because the beans are dried in the coffee fruit, giving them a full-bodied richness with soft tones of dark chocolate, cinnamon and cardamom.  The beans provide a tantalizing flavor with pleasant tangy notes and a captivating aroma.  Complex and distinctive, Ethiopian Harrar is one of the most sought after coffees in the world.

Does it deliver? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!

I am thankful for:  My hubby.  I came home from work to a clean kitchen and folded laundry, making my today so much easier…thank you baby!

One meal on the menu this week: Um, I don’t know. Not itching to make anything particular.

I am wearing: A Bears shirt and blue sweats.

I am reading: Nothing at the moment, but that’s only because I’m waiting for my next book from my Laura.

I am praying for: Friends and Family.  Join me? Lynne Jackson is in need of a heart transplant.  She’s had her defibrillator go off more than once is a short amount of time. Her latest update: An update, Drs. don’t know when they will release me, can’t keep my magnesium level higher magnesium level helps to prevent my defibrillator from going off, might have to stay here until a donor heart becomes available, probably will know more by the end of week. Thank you all my fb family and friends for your continued prayers .  Lift her up please! Also her daughter Amber, I know it’s having mom in the hospital with such a condition.  Strength and comfort to them both. Sam Novak( 8 y/0 fell and fractured skull that hit an artery and resulted in a 3 hour surgery) last I heard he walked 100 feet and he might be able to come home this weekend. That would be WONDERFUL!  Also there are those with illnesses and shut ins on my heart as well. Let us pray.

Bible verse of the week: Today’s MUFHH.  Very fitting with what’s on my heart right now.

Why are you fearful, O you of little faith? —Matthew 8:26

When we are afraid, the least we can do is pray to God. But our Lord has a right to expect that those who name His name have an underlying confidence in Him. God expects His children to be so confident in Him that in any crisis they are the ones who are reliable. Yet our trust is only in God up to a certain point, then we turn back to the elementary panic-stricken prayers of those people who do not even know God. We come to our wits’ end, showing that we don’t have even the slightest amount of confidence in Him or in His sovereign control of the world. To us He seems to be asleep, and we can see nothing but giant, breaking waves on the sea ahead of us.

“. . . O you of little faith!” What a stinging pain must have shot through the disciples as they surely thought to themselves, “We missed the mark again!” And what a sharp pain will go through us when we suddenly realize that we could have produced complete and utter joy in the heart of Jesus by remaining absolutely confident in Him, in spite of what we were facing.

There are times when there is no storm or crisis in our lives, and we do all that is humanly possible. But it is when a crisis arises that we instantly reveal upon whom we rely. If we have been learning to worship God and to place our trust in Him, the crisis will reveal that we can go to the point of breaking, yet without breaking our confidence in Him.

We have been talking quite a lot about sanctification, but what will be the result in our lives? It will be expressed in our lives as a peaceful resting in God, which means a total oneness with Him. And this oneness will make us not only blameless in His sight, but also a profound joy to Him.

Reflection of last weeks happenings:  Last week (8/4) was Nehemiah’s birthday!  He’s 6!  CRAZY!  We had a great day here at the house.  Playing with gifts, bubbles, and CUPCAKES!  When we went to bed he told me, “Mama, I’m so happy!  This was a great day!  You wanna know what I wished for when I blew out the candles?  I wished you would never leave me”  Whoo..talk about joy overflowing!!!  Who could ask for a sweeter birthday wish?  It soon dawned on me that one day, I won’t be able to keep the promise that I won’t have to leave him and my heart breaks for the grief he will have and for the first time in his life, he won’t have his mama to dry his tears, draw him up into my arms and comfort him. Oh how wish I could protect him from that!  I am abundantly grateful for the redemption power in Jesus!  My baby will have a hope of seeing me in the presence of the Lord.  I long for the days when not only my tears will never flow again but those of my children as well!  Thank you Lord for redeeming us!  I don’t even know what to say, I’m overwhelmed at the thought and I really can’t even see my screen right now. I just trust God will give my children peace and confidence in my absence and he will carry them through just has he has done with me time and time again.

One of my favorite things: quiet time.

What’s new with the children: They start school next week!  All 3 of them!  WOW!  We’ve gotten them all set to go and they are actually looking forward to it!  I’m going to be a hot mess when I put my baby Zekie on a bus….whoo Lord…give me strength.

Some pictures I’d thought I share with you:

The boys went down to Bourbonnais to Bear’s trainingcamp

Christian and Staley!

Ezekiel and Staley

Nehemiah and Staley

On the field!

He's 6!!!!!!

Love him!

That beautiful scarf I was telling you about!

Thanks for reading!  Love you, mean it!

( Not saying you have to, but if you comment, please leave it here, I want to have be able to read them here one day and trying to find them on Facebook would be an impossibility!)

Stealing a few moments… July 3, 2010

Well hello there my little neglected blog…it’s been TOO long.

I’m not going to write some lengthy update, simply because I don’t want to nor do I have the time.

I’m just going to start with where I’m at today.  Sound good?

Well, I’m blessed. I’ve been in quite the contemplative mood lately.  Of course I’m always thinking but my heart has been hovering over a few topics.  Namely, I’ve been examining my walk and examining areas that I need to give up and surrender to God.   You see…I’m a bit of a control freak and while rationally I desire to give my life wholly to the Lord but at times it’s hard to do and so I struggle with that from time to time and I’m ready to make a more conscious effort to have this struggle be a thing of my past. It’s hard and I know I’m going to have to change and continue to change through this process but I am just trying to be ‘present’ and live in it and walk through it.  Of course…Mommy’s heart is always toward her children and my mind is always churning on doing the very best that I can for them and my family.  I think I can get a bit neurotic at times if I’m not too careful and I’m always wondering am I walking a good balance, that balance that all us parents seek to find in rearing our children, and always looking to improve.  My children, while they are not property, have been entrusted to me and are therefore a ‘possession’ (if you will permit me to use the word loosely)  I am seeking to honor them and God by dutifully seeing that I am always aware of where their little hearts are how and what I can do to mirror Christ’s example in my life and in our home.  I’m looking for ways to give them opportunities to serve the needs of our family by giving them some responsibilities here at home .  I’m busy researching ways/tools/resources purposeful in teaching  them and talking to them about our faith and what it means to be a part of  a Christian home and eventually becoming Christian men themselves.( They are 8,5,4…neurosis or purposeful planning and  thinking? You decide.)  But I know I need to find a healthy balance in knowing I can’t “plan” everything or “foresee” EVERY possible detail in their upbringing.  So yeah…that’s that.

Speaking of neurosis…I’m a bit of an organizational freak. I organize and re-organize things all the time and I find that I am most happy and feel more balanced when things are ‘ clean & organized” around me.  Now, I live with 4 males and a pre-teen girl…so you can imagine how off kilter and crazy I feel at times. I’m trying to let it go and understand ” the bigger picture” and that they are “just children” and I try very hard”do the best I can” but I’m just going to be vulnerable and ask for prayer.  I need balance.

Well that’s what’s on my mind today…off to have a GR8 weekend!!!!

Happy 4th of July! Stay safe!